The first day of the rest of your life

There are defining moments in your life that you never forget: the first day of school, the first kiss, graduation day, your wedding day, the birth of your first child, the birth of your second child, your first actual home purchase. These are expected milestones and events that you look forward to with anticipation.

And then there are the events on the flipside. The ones no one talks about except in hushed whispers: cancer, car crashes, the death of a child. We don't speak about these things because they are the unimaginable horrors that we wouldn't even wish on our worst enemy.

So when my son was diagnosed with autism two months ago, it rocked my world in the same way the "unspeakables" do. He's still my son, he's still the same person he's always been: sweet, loving, and a little bit of a goofball. But now he's got this big "A" on his chest, and it has changed the course of our lives in an instant. My calendar is filling up with meetings and evaluations. I have begun to learn a whole new language of acronyms that would have left me baffled a few months ago: TSS, BSC, Wraparound, bio-medical. I am overwhelmed by how topsy-turvy our lives have become.

And while I'm still trying to wrap my head around all of this, I realize that it is not the end of the world. There are so many others out there who have been dealt a hand much less optimistic than mine. I guess it's mainly mourning the loss of the "happily ever after" picture I had in my head for my son. The "happily ever after" can still be there, but the vision of what that will be has certainly changed at this point. It's all still so fresh...and hard to accept.